The wedding planning was in full swing.
In February 1990, 7 months before the big day, I was introduced to a wonderful man. His name was Dr Hamburger and he lectured at WITS when he wasn’t at his practise. The man had a talent and his talent was restoring a smile.
I believe the correct term for his craft today would be a Prosthodontist but in those days we just called them dentists. He was a big, Jewish guy that reminded me of a cuddly bear and even today I always say if I didn’t have Christopher I would have fallen for him. He was just the nicest man, kind and compassionate wanting to help a bride-to-be to look her best on her wedding day. These bloody teeth of mine…
I really wanted beautiful teeth and I must have put this out in the universe so much that the tooth fairy heard my cry and sent me Dr Hamburger. He, in return, was ecstatically happy to have somebody to try all his new techniques on so it was a win-win situation.
Our first appointment was set for our days-off in February. We left Sun City early morning in our little red Beetle and the excitement was palpable. We were going to meet at the dentistry department at WITS and lucky for me I had no idea what was waiting for me. I didn’t even think about what it would take to get these teeth a sparkly white. We arrived at midday and I was whisked through to the dentists chair. Dr Hamburger and his dentist colleagues prodded and probed my mouth, twittering excitedly whilst I was exposing my blue-white teeth to them. After an hour of scrutiny they gathered and delivered their verdict. As time was of the essence they had decided that the best attack would be with using a new technique that involved an acid drip on the tooth surface, slowly introduced over the next few weeks. I just nodded my head and agreed to everything. The first treatment would commence immediately.
The procedure involved a thick blue-green plastic (like a balloon) pulled through the teeth, covering the gums. The acid was then painted on and left for a while. It was rinsed off and repeated.
Unfortunately for me some of the acid found its way through the plastic and burnt my gums. A drop also fell on my lip and burnt a hole in it. When I left there I looked like I had had bad botox done. My top lip was swollen, had a hole in it and my gums hurt. I had a series of these lovely encounters waiting for me if I wanted beautiful teeth. Whoever said beauty is not painless knew what they were talking about.
My fiancee was shaken when he saw the state of his bride-to-be. Even today he is still the same and he cannot take it if I have a sore or an ache or a pain. We sat in stoic silence in the little Beetle going home, the wrrrrrr of the engine drowning out my crying.I cried because it was so sore and because I knew I had to go back.
We had just entered Krugersdorp when I remembered we had no food left for our fish. We had a small tank at home and in it we had managed to keep a few fish alive. Christopher started scouting for a pet shop and it wasn’t long before we saw a sign. I still remember it was on the main road near the OK Bazaars. We stopped in front of the shop and Christopher got out. I stayed put with my wounds. We had parked right in front of the pet shop and much to my consternation there was 3 Jack Russel puppies stuck in a pen right in front of me.
Oh my word… such a sad sight. I immediately forgot all about my road accident face. Christopher came out of the pet shop to find me crouching over the pen trying to comfort three very sad pups. That’s the day we added Jack to the family. We left the pet shop with fish food, two bowls, dog food and a 9 week old JRT. The little red Beetle had 3 hearts beating fast all the way back to SunCity two of them wondering:” What have we done?” and the third one was probably going:”What is going to happen to me?’
Well, we were facing a few challenges. One was that we lived on the first floor and had no garden. Yup, that’s right. What were we thinking? The second one was how was this little guy going to cope when we went to work?
As it turned out all is well that ends well. Jack adapted to his new lifestyle like a duck to water. He was very, very clever and quickly grasped the fact that he was king of the house and we were his servants.He was so clever he would go to sleep when we went to work and get up when we got home. Our routine, once home, would include a long walk, at first in the staff complex but as he got older we went further. Our route would finally go right round the golf course that had so many famous people traipsing all over the greens. We would go to the back of the Entertainment Center and bounce his tennis ball against the wall sending him into mad spins and twirls as he tried to catch it. We took him everywhere that we could. Within weeks of arriving it was like he had always been with us. He had accepted us as his family yet would be very weary of any new faces, hiding in the bedroom or under the bed until they left.
He did have his moments of utter craziness that would leave us speechless. One such incident happened the week before we got married. My mom came to stay and she brought her wedding outfit and French Dior stockings which she so lovingly put on display in the guest bedroom. One evening we all went out for supper and when we got home we were met by a war zone. It was chaotic. There was toilet-paper strewn from the front door, right throughout the house. My mother took one look at the upturned cushions, the chairs lying askew, the towels strewn all over and exclaimed:” We have been robbed! My stockings!!” Her stockings were broken out of their plastic cover and lay there displayed for all to see. It really looked like we had been robbed, yet… there was no robberies on complex, ever. Why would this happen now?
Jack was ecstatically happy to see us, tail wagging mouth laughing looking very happy with himself. All around us was in ruins. Then it dawned on me. Revenge of the Jack. We laughed and laughed. My mom was happy that her stockings could still be salvaged. The toilet roll was taken from the roll and he had run throughout the house draping the roll all over. Lucky for us the bogroll was supplied by housekeeping so no harm done there.
Our little guy became the third person in our relationship. He loved riding in the car and would stand with his little back legs on my lap, front legs on the window face in the wind, mouth open looking like he wanted to swallow the world in one big bite. He slept in our bed, between us and we would wake up in the morning with Jack lying on his back snoring away his pink freckled tummy exposed to the world. He loved my mom too so that made it easier when we were planning our honeymoon. We decided that importing Granny to Jack sit would be to everybody’s advantage.
The weeks before the wedding was crazy busy. I had decided on making the invites, the rose petal holders, thank you cards and everything else. It was paint and glue and glitter and Jack ended up shining bright like a diamond even at night when we went for a walk. This helped as we could see him wherever he went. Our neighbours in the staff village started calling him the diamond dog for he sparkled a lot.
I took Jack to dog training classes that they had for the security dogs on complex. He was the smallest dog there and was dwarfed by Rottweilers and German Shepherds.
We diligently went every week until the instructor said:” Yvette, your little dog is so far ahead of the pack he is getting bored.” He would sit, lie down, roll over, stay, come, fetch and jump on command. I could go on an outride with my horse and he would proudly run behind the horse, those little legs working overtime. We would cross the busy Sun City road and I would say: ” Sit and stay.” getting my horse over the road first and then once on the other side and the road was clear I would say:” Come!” He would run over the road to meet up with us. When he got tired I would pat my saddle and say:” Up!” launching himself into the air and I would catch him, making space on the sheepskin cover for him to lie across the saddle. He really was a wonderful little dog. Loyal and kind. He didn’t like children at all. He wouldn’t do anything to them but he would just retreat when they were in the vicinity.
My teeth ordeal continued, I dreaded the trips to WITS but I always had Jack to come home to. The upside to that was that the TEETH were also slowly improving with each visit so there was that.
The night before the wedding all the family and friends that were like family had booked into accommodation at Sun City. After our little”meeting” in the pastors office the guys decided they were going to take Christopher out for the evening so I had all the ladies to contend with. Things were a little “tight” at that time. Once again both mothers felt that they were VVIP and were making impossible demands. I employed my best Public Relations face but it was hard.
I had the pleasure of taking all the ladies to supper and to be honest I would rather have attended the stag party. After the dinner ordeal I retired to our flat rather exhausted from keeping the two mothers at bay, and got into bed knowing that the next night I would be an official MRS. This made me feel rather old and a little scared. It was like hitting next level grown up. It reminded me of the day I first noticed I had nose hairs… same feeling just a little more pronounced.
I had just fallen asleep, Jack curled up next to me, when I hear a loud banging on the front door. The ladies had taken it upon themselves to lock me into my flat so I couldn’t open the door. I went to the kitchen window and there was Christopher frantically gesturing that I should open the door. I told him I couldn’t as I didn’t have a key. The man had a very concerned look on his face and said:” They are out to get me drunk. Help me, I am climbing through the kitchen window.”
Shit. Our window was small and situated quite high but the man was desperate. I opened the window as far as I could and he heaved his torso through the hole. Legs followed and after that came a huge ball and chain. Somebody had made a ball and chain and it was the genuine article. Heavy as hell and attached to the poor man’s leg. All came tumbling down and Jack, not a brave soul at all, cowered in the bedroom. Christopher warned me not to put a light on as the drink posse was looking for him all over the staff village. The first place they would come knocking was our flat. True story. We had just got the groom to be, with the ball and chain into the bedroom when I heard voices at the door. I waited a while and then went to the door to answer in a sleepy voice;” Who is it?”
Like I didn’t know…. They wanted the door opened and they wanted Christopher to which I had to reply that I couldn’t help. My friends had locked me in the flat and they had the key and Christopher certainly wasn’t with me. I must have put on a very convincing act as they left soon thereafter, muttering as they went along the corridor. I don’t know what they got up to that night but the next day there we’re some pretty sick people around.
Early the next morning Christopher ( ball and chain free) jumped through the kitchen window again and when the wedding girls arrived I was all on my own with only Jack as company.
Working for Sun International certainly had its perks. We had been given the Lucas Mangope suite in the Cascades. A beautiful penthouse of a suite overlooking the golf course. It was situated right at the top of the hotel and you had to have a special key to access the room from the elevator. I had a 10 o’ clock check in and we were treated to champagne and strawberries upon arrival. I truly felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman ( my all time favourite movie, I even know the dialogue off by heart…
Kit:” Maybe you guys could get a house together, buy a horse buy some diamonds … it happens.”
Vivian: “When does it happen Kit? Who does it work out for….?”
“There are some very specific cases. You want me to give you a name?? Oh God, the pressure of a name… Cinderfuckingrella!”)
Well, I felt like Cinderfuckingrella.
The Mangope suite was just out of this world. The President of Bophuthatswana stayed there when he was at Sun City and everything was finished in gold and marble. My wedding dress hung in the room and I was swimming in a bath tub the size of a swimming pool fitted with gadgets and goodies that Frances ( my bridesmaid) was fidgeting with.
The make up lady arrived and my hair stylist ( my sister in law to be), the photographer arrived hot on their heels and soon the room was filled with people. Unfortunately I forgot about the magic key thing that allowed people access to the room and my mom was not impressed with me. As mother of the bride she felt rather left out that a porter had to escort her to the room. What is a wedding day without fluffed feathers…
The ceremony was to start at 17:00 and the bridal party would make their way to the Pilansberg room from the foyer of the Cascades hotel at 16:55 as it was literally a 2 minute walk let alone car ride. The procession down to the hotel entrance was epic. We had to go in stages as the party was too big to all get in the lift at the same time.
Upon arrival the reception area was crowded with people and for once I really felt like royalty. Holiday makers, staff, residents all had their cameras out and were taking loads of photos. At that moment I was so glad I had tortured myself into a whiter smile…
My wedding car was owned and driven by no other than a man that was the Head of the Surveillance team at Sun City, by the name of Dennis Bond. Yup. That’s the truth.
He was the James Bond of the complex. A health and fitness fanatic and a beautiful wife. I admired the man and his integrity a lot. So Mr Bond collected me in his very luxurious BMW and drove me to the Pilansberg but not before he made a stop at the Main Hotel and Cabanas to show his very embarrassed parcel of a bride off to everybody.
I remember stopping at the Entertainment Centre bridge that would bring me directly to the Pilansberg room. My brother met me halfway and gave me his arm. We entered the “church” and the theme song of Chariots of Fire started playing. I walked down the isle and all I can remember is that I was so annoyed that the guests had not arranged themselves from short to long in the pews… talk about attention to detail. That’s me.
I can’t remember much of the ceremony and once all the formalities had been disposed off we walked into the foyer of the reception as Mr & Mrs Wilde. Then my petticoat decided it had had enough and dropped right down to my ankles and I nearly wet myself laughing. In the rush of getting dressed we had not secured the button properly and it hung on until it couldn’t anymore. We had to find a corner, flip the dress up and pull the offending petticoat hula hoop effort thing back up. This time it was checked and double checked before restoring the wedding dress back to its former glory. That was the first incident that gave me the giggles.
My second giggling fit came when we opened the buffet. I laid eyes on what the banqueting staff thought would be appropriate decor for the table and it was hideous. They had these stuffed birds and animals adorning the buffet tables. I have no idea who thought it would be a good idea abut their intentions must have been good. Yvette loves animals. Let’s put the stuffed parrot and friends on the table. This made me laugh even more. Something they got right was the huge ice sculpture of a horse that was probably as big as a person adorning the buffet. It was majestic.
As we got married in the evening our photos were taken in studio whilst the guests ate. The studio wasn’t far from the banqueting hall and everything just gelled. We had hardly started the photos when there was a power outage. We waited for a while but had to concede defeat we gave up and returned to the guests. Thats why our wedding photos were taken over two days…
I loved our wedding. We danced and partied and only left the reception very late. We simply walked from the Pilansberg room, through the entertainment centre. The sight of a bride and groom in their full regalia which stopped many people in their tracks and made me giggle again. By the time we got to the room and the lift doors opened I had my shoes in my hand and I was taking all the pins out of my hair. I was so tired. Unfortunately some of our guests had gotten hold of our special key to the elevator and they had apple pied our bed. No half measures. It was a mess and so I sat down on the floor and cried.
Christopher jumped into action and cleared most of the mess but we slept amongst peanuts and rose petals that night.
The next morning we were served a beautiful breakfast in our room and when it came time to leave Christopher couldn’t find any clothes. I had forgotten to pack him clothes to wear so he had to leave the Cascades hotel wearing his tuxedo pants and his white shirt that he had worn the night before. All is well that ends well but the newly married man was a little offended at my lack of attention to his detail.
We had to go through another makeup and hair session later that day so we could finish our wedding photos and I must say that the photos came out rather great as there was no pressure on us.
When I think back on our wedding day all I remember is a blur and the few highlights I have shared here. It seems such a shame that there is so many months of planning and yet one day goes by so quickly. Often I have wished I could slow a day down and this day certainly ranks right up there.
I wouldn’t change anything… even the stuffed birds and bloody cupid on the buffet, but I would like to slow it down a little and savour the moments more. If I have any advice for parents of the bride or groom it would be to behave like you are a guest at your child’s wedding. It is a day to be remembered, don’t sour it for the bride and groom. Just behave , you have had your chance and even if you have-not had a wedding allow your kids to enjoy their day. The memories must be good enough for them to look back on the day with fondness and a tear in the eye. Not rage and resentment.
Next chapter… the honeymoon.
